Monday, July 30, 2012

What Relief in a Heartbeat

I wasn't prepared for what an emotional mess I would be at my appointment last Thursday. Though I shouldn't have been surprised. It was in the middle of my nap time, after all.

There I was, confessing that I felt overwhelmed, completely unprepared for handling two children, and not yet actually excited about this whole "being pregnant" thing. The response? "I think that's normal." I guess that's reassuring, but, just because it's normal doesn't mean it wouldn't be helpful to talk to someone, right?

At least there was the ultrasound. I wasn't entirely expecting it, perhaps because my husband wasn't there with me. But seeing actual feet and a face and a twitch and a heartbeat was such a surprise! I haven't been reading my weekly emails from Baby Center, I don't know where my pregnancy book is, and I easily forgot that my jumping little toddler was once this teeny little start of a person.

It was such a relief. There's a healthy baby in there. Suddenly, I smiled. I couldn't wait to show the image to my husband, somehow over the internet and across an ocean, ASAP. This is our son's little brother or sister! The rest of our family.

Then, over the weekend, I hit the 12 week mark and the nausea seemed to vanish. Seeing the baby and kicking the sickness has really improved my attitude.

I can't shake the exhaustion, though. First is fighting a fever, with me alone to get up in the night with him to give him his medicine, love, and a drink. I could really use a good night's sleep... and a morning to sleep in!

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